WHAT!?!

I don't think anyone reads this which is why I am writing it down here. (If you happen to read, no one is to know.) I'm PREGNANT!! Well at least that's what the Equate brand $3.78 pregnancy test said. This is extrememly overwhelming, and Philip and I decided not to tell anyone for a little while, at least until I have a doctors appointment (or two). Philip keeps reassuring me that he is not mad at me and it's not my fault that this happened, but I have to say I feel a little guilty. Through the holidays and moving, I was pretty bad about taking my birth control at the same time every day like it says I'm supposed to. I can't believe all that has happened in the past 30 days! I only missed one day of BC all together, but that is enought, obviously. I was also taking what ended up being unknown medicine during all this as well. (I thought I was taking Sinus medicine, but after three days of taking this "sinus medication" I pulled out the next bunch of tablets and they were marked and looked completely different. No telling what I was taking.) I don't know if the medication would have anything to do with it, but it makes me feel better to know that it could have been a multitude of factors.

I don't feel ready for this, but the other night I was praying that God would allow me to not be pregnant (I didn't know yet) and telling him I was too young and wasn't ready and a verse that I'm trying to memorize right now flooded into my thoughts. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."

I know it will be ok, but I'm scared!